An invisible wall....

Time ticks off every single second and it's time I come to realise that it's about time to pack off this year's memory into the 2009 package... I hope that the time would pass... pass like how the wind blow... and let it make my memories fade again.
Be free again.. See the world like I've never see before.
Time is so little yet it can seems like so fast-forwarded when you felt you were on top of the world and it can seems like a never-ending moment when you felt that there's nothing you could do to bear the sadness.

When only I can put this past behind me..
I've changed.. but why this feeling is still not dying..
Each time I recalled...
even in between my sleeping time... I would wake up to find out it still hurts deep inside...
Am I bringing all this pain up for myself?
I tend to make myself happy too.. but the more I do.. the more I realise it's futile..
Though I won't give up trying... The rehabilitation progress isn't as easy as I could have said before this..

There's nothing the others could do to assist me.. this is a solo-fight of mine..
but when will it end...
when will I ever find back what I've lost... I want to keep moving.. Just keep on going...
Please... I must...

Die as a hero or continue to live on to become another villain

Out of boring-ness.. just felt like type in a few words in my blog.
Studying to face the test tomorrow.
I can do it!!
I'll be the survivor!!
I might not be the best but I'll do what I can do.
Die for nothing or fight for something...



P/S - I'm hungry right now and there's two dude luring me with their instant noodles... T-T

I know what's next...

I know I've gotta be one of the dude who runs in the most outdated field of time but somehow, late is better than never.
So, I've just watched this "The Dark Knight" a while ago and certainly wondering what would it be like to be someone who can prove to others that what's the point running around in the circle when you can pop yourself out of it.
"Why so serious?", that's what he says, Joker.
That's why, I think I know where I can find myself..
Not not not, through insanity or imitation if you're thinking I'm going to be a psychopath to cuts off life like them, movies are movies.
I'm just.. inspired.. and boring..

Anyway, here's a song that were introduced by my brother~

Whitney Houston - I will always love you

If I should stay,
I would only be in your way.
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you ev'ry step of the way.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
You, my darling you. Hmm.

Bittersweet memories
that is all I'm taking with me.
So, goodbye. Please, don't cry.
We both know I'm not what you, you need.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.

(Instrumental solo)

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.
And I wish to you, joy and happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love.

And I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I will always love you.
I, I will always love you.

You, darling, I love you.
Ooh, I'll always, I'll always love you.

It cuts like a knife...

It's not the first time..
Now, all I need is just to make sure everything can get back to normal..
That's to make things had never happened.. The whole memory from the first day I met her at the airport.. but can I?
Can memory really be washed away like a whiteboard..
It's feeling like a knife with it's 7 inches length stabbed through my heart..
Unbearable.. I know it's normal but hey, this is after all the first...
The first is always the hardest, do you agree me?
The blood just keep bleeding on the floor...

Michael Jackson - She's out of my life

(1st Verse)
She's Out Of My Life
She's Out Of My Life
And I Don't Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry
I Don't Know Whether To Live Or Die
And It Cuts Like A Knife
She's Out Of My Life

(2nd Verse)
It's Out Of My Hands
It's Out Of My Hands
To Think For Two Years She Was Here
And I Took Her For Granted I Was So Cavalier
Now The Way That It Stands
She's Out Of My Hands

(Bridge)
So I've Learned That Love's Not Possession
And I've Learned That Love Won't Wait
Now I've Learned That Love Needs Expression
But I Learned Too Late

(3rd Verse)
She's Out Of My Life
She's Out Of My Life
Damned Indecision And Cursed Pride
Kept My Love For Her Locked Deep Inside
And It Cuts Like A Knife
She's Out Of My Life

Unbeatable, Unbreakable, but I'm not Invincible

I've told myself to be strong..
I've told myself to go through the pain...
I've told myself that everything will be fine....
But what had happened at that very moment.....
Have totally shattered my heart.. of all the person, even you would treat me this way..
Even you've betrayed me...
I've lost everything again and again....
Maybe, I don't deserve to own anything at all.....
It should be gone, even if can't, it should be..
At that moment, I really wish I could be just disperse into the air and never exist....
But I know, there's more life harder than mine...
Somehow, I had it enough, this time, I'm still going to make the smile.

Thanks for supporting me, Jessie, Joe Jian, Justin, and Ida too...edit: thanks to Vinni too!!
Maybe either of you wouldn't get it why am I thanking to you all....
I just want to thanks for everything.. Every single words that you all have lay on me makes me felt who I am..

And I'm sincerely apologising to Lily, Anne, Phoebe, Suiheong(about the treat thingy), and Michele. I'll want to be alone and away from everything..

I want to be gone.. gone again, and again, even if can't I still want to..
But I'll live on..