The Run of Life

Last Saturday, it was a crazy day for me whereby I've done few things at once and I thought I might fail but I still managed...   I've seen and heard peoples talking about getting hangover in a day and get working few hours after.  Guess I had my first time too in getting hangover and run a 10km marathon in the next few hours.  

It was stupid and there's nothing good to be proud of, I just felt how idiotic I am for not taking good care of my body and spamming the booze into my body.. I had that particular need for the booze but I shouldn't have submit it into my body to let them feel the pain.  After the few hours of sleeping, I woke up at the urge to continue my uncomfortable vomiting and thinking of whether I can make it to continue my run.  

And.... I suffered for the choice I made.  Well, that was pretty "great" but it was good enough to assure me to never did the same thing again.  I've endure the pain in my stomach and successful made the 10km run.  Although the whole Nike Run wasn't well-organised where a lot of problem happened, but I guess I still had a good run.

I see the importance of motivation in keeping us running in life.. Equivalently same in this marathon, I was motivated by the other runners to continue my jog even though I had difficulties as my stomach felt very unwell after the hangover but you see, a person fully-motivated is like being hypnotised.  They could ignore everything and adrenaline rush to the goals.  I had those motivation and it was wonderful...

As pervert as it sounds, yes, I was chasing pretty girls as soon as they pass by me and it was really motivating to keep me running.  Moments of giving up just straight away disperse away from my mind but at the same time, I needed songs to be played to keep me continuing as well too.

Achieved the end line at the mark of 1 hour 26 minutes (although me and my runner-buddies knew) we were much earlier than that for if there weren't problems occurred as soon as we started the run.  We were suppose to be 10 minutes earlier but I don't think racing the time is my main priority.  I've completed the whole race and I knew it well, I was pretty sick and I still made it.  It was the achievement only I'm concerned of and only I care.  

At least until the end, I didn't fall apart and shattered at the roadside and giving up the whole event.  I've stronger passion for my goals than what I think I had it in me.. At least I indirectly proved to those cover-judges that they were wrong.

Choice is still there...

Many times when we heard of people saying words like "I'm dying", "Nobody gives me chances", or "this world is unfair" those sort of stuff..  Well, from what I can see here, peoples always have a choice, everything fallen on them are made by themselves in the first place, the core decision of their act made them who they really are today.

In some occasions, these people's decision can be amended by reinforcements of both positive and negative.  Somehow, not always does it works because some peoples are so ignorant towards their lives that they tend to only do what they think is right and blame faults at others whenever problems started to surface.  Escaping from reality never helps and so does, whining, cursing, and complaining about life.  If you wanted to talk about it, you better be dead sure you wanted to do something about it or else, things will not change regardless of how much words you utter to yourselves.

As for me, I've taken action with the worst and best scenario in order to handle these problems, it mustn't need to go accordingly but the most important factors would be that, I didn't run away from my problems.  With my broken wills and dying faiths, I still push myself back up to face them.  Like the recent past, few imbeciles have been giving me numerous problems thanks to their so-called maturity thoughts and because of their sympathetic acts, I was needed to bear their consequences as in dipping the shits and cleaning the scenes.

It was against my will all these times but I've endured it, for the so-called El Mal Ajeno.  Although I've been forcing myself to swallow all these rotten meats, I've never complained even once because it was my choice and I've subjected myself to the responsibilities that I ought to bear.

However, peoples will still think that I've done not enough, and I've been once again being taken for granted.   All I seek of wasn't pleading you to see how much I've sacrifice for the better goods of others, I just hoped that deep down inside the most of you, that you could see, even someone as useless as me can be of some value to somebody else out there.

I have great disappointment every time when I think of it, it kept me depressed overtime because my intention was totally denied by the societies but still, it doesn't matter to me any other way. What's done is done, I had my disappointment, I've cleaned of the shits, I've given up on people like them, and I've started off anew and I'm happy being the way I am.

People don't see me as who I am is because they think they still have it on them that makes them "mature". 

Like how the old folks said it:

"Many people can see you as who you are but only a few could understand who you really are"