Tonight, it's a bad night, there they started again having an argument, when there's nothing else to talk about, they gave up a quarrel and spike the situation where one will keep talking about the same thing and another one kept silence. Well, I'm sure this sort of stuff happened all around the globe, argument, it occurs throughout the time and some come to worst even separated for good. As usual, I'm not showing support on neither side, they can argue all the way round they want, giving out ridiculous reasoning of excuse and ridiculous reasoning to condemn. There's no judge to determine wrong or right, they themselves determine it all, I remembered that there was once that me and the other were brought up to judge the situation.
I'll never protect nor condemn them, I just sit aside and let things happened. The result, it can happen in every way it wants and I don't care about anything the argument is about. For all I know, there's this sort of pain that been kept deep down inside me and it's only a matter of time before I developed mentality disorder. All these years, I'll need to endure everything around me and there's no place for me to let it out, so, I kept burying them, covering one part after another.
Praying that my scumbag brain will end my grief by letting me forgetting these scenes... I've already lost a place where I'm suppose to find serenity, I've lost a place where I'm suppose to find someone that I can trust and rely on. It's not entirely anyone's fault anyhow, I've decided to punish myself in this sort of agony so that, I would give up the thoughts that someone will save me one day, give up hopes that good things will happen to me, and leave up all the rest to go on its own pace. I'll just need to stand up on my feet for most of the time and keep moving forward.
Though I still give hope to people, I still think that people deserve to earn things that I couldn't have.
I will never surrender!
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