A New Memory In a New Day

Dear 2013, marks the beginning of my newly life living out of something I hold on so close for years.. I've attempted to let go but still holding back it.. How would I know?

Well, see, I was sick during Chinese New Year and yes, for the first time in my life (or as far as I could recall), this is the first time I get sick during the Angpow-retrieving day.  I had food-poisoned because I ate the wrong thing, fortunately, it was me the only one who ate up all the things that was "poisoned" and luckily it was not other people.  I can take pain, I can endure it and I've did it.  

I was so sick that at a sign of relief, I'm just having nausea instead of diarrhoea, both are not comfortable but it's better to get your mouthed covered in puke that having your pants getting dipped in shit or whatever way you could imagine during a bad diarrhoea day.  Somehow, the nausea itself was so painful that my stomach ensures everything I ate came up before all the foods are fully digested... Even the gooey-juices came along and hell, it was so bitter and painful whenever I have to ooze the juices out.

When you're in pain, time suddenly becomes slow, more thoughts suddenly came into your mind.  At times of pain, most of the people would think of "I'm f*cking regretting for whatever is happening to me" but not me I guess, I don't regret over things that happened and I would just kept reminding myself not to do the same thing to myself... Well at least not eating the same thing at the same place. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

Until my whole body was weakened on the next day and my migraine struck back into me.  I've lost my appetite to eat and my whole body was cold and yet people told me my body was warm and hot.  Obviously, it's the sign of fever, wondering whether it's because I've not been sick for almost a year, I forgot how it was but the closest thing that came into my mind that related to food poisoning?  My Uncle's Death.

He died of food poisoning and of course his pain was much more severed than mine, otherwise, I wouldn't be typing now.  And brain just decided to recall my memories as if I was going to die due to all the symptoms I had by that moment was pretty much similar to days back before uncle went into coma..forever.  

And guess what, I recalled back all the days I was in love with her...  Just how sick am I going to be?