Don't Understand...

I can't get it what is happening right now... We were like so close few days back then but now, I'm suddenly being declined down down down.. Was it that every person that meant something in my life have to go through this process towards me? Why must it always be like this? Every time I thought I've found the one, within a split second and they will straight away detached from my heart with no reason available. It's some sort of like dying without an answer... What crime have I done in my past to deserve such treatment?

That's why, I know, I must be some sort of wicked bastard last time and now my karma is doing the pay off over me. I guess, it's better for me to stay out of her (again!). Not "again!" on the same person, but as usual, those who come close will later on have to stay out from me after a period of time. That's what kept happening and there's no way I can prevent it at all..

I've really tried my best but... I just can't! Sometimes... I really does felt very tired... till the point I don't wish to see what's the next worst thing going to happen.... but, to live a better life to inspire others, these sort of heartaches won't be killing me (but I do wish I can finally stop receiving this sort of treatment from those dear ones...).

I think I'll need another break in life... seriously... T^T