Feel so close..

Few weeks ago, I was resting at my uncle's home at Malacca and in a sudden blink, my heart had this very painful experience that my eyesight go white and I could felt like I had collapsed there for a moment until I used my hand to beat my chest.

I felt alive again as soon as I did it..  Though I'm not sure what happened but during that very seconds, I had flashbacks of my life and most of them were regrets that I couldn't accomplish.  Well, it's not like I'm dying or shits, but that sudden shocked made me start to think about it.  I'm not afraid at all... I don't mind about this dog life of mine.  Because I'll live my life to the fullest and I will just die like a dog.  Somehow, I really appreciate my life a lot that I always live my life as if I'm 'going' tomorrow.  That's why, I've never stop thinking about things in life, probably why people kept saying that I think too much.  

I doesn't want to close my eyes full of regrets about things whereby I should have done or shouldn't have done.  Once a decision is made, be very sure that I will not regret regardless about the outcome and this is how I decide to live up myself to the fullest.  At different point of view, people will usually see me as a pessimist because you know, positive people always think of living for another day but I think I'm an optimist.   'Cause I never bring my problems into my sleep, and that is what I think is positive enough.  How many of you could have a good night sleep without thinking about the solution of the problem?

I might not wake up tomorrow, but I'll be damn sure I've done everything to stay alive.  I may be emotionally unstable but I have strong will to live.  What sort of strong will? I don't know and I had no idea but I just know, my future will be surprising.  I'll be thrilled and keep waiting for that day to come.  You need to be smart in studying and living in a community, but you need some stupidity beliefs to prevent yourself from being too realistic.  You need dreams to live on. 

Well, hell yeah I had a dream!  

To live up a normal life as in get a career, get married, get children, and experience both sadness and happiness at different times.

It's plain simple but sometimes, it's these simple stuff that is the hardest to be reached.