Sayonara 2009 *Last Post of '09"

First of all, I'll like to wish a very goodbye to the Earth 2009th Birthday as It's getting older one more year as I speak.

Well, I've just done reading JJ's(a.k.a Sifu, a.k.a lui lui) blog and then I just felt very gam dong leh reading it hya hya hya xD. I Blushed at the very same time when I read through it after being praised that way (even though I'm a "Stalking" her) yet still being thanked that way hehe xD. As I said it, Yes~ lui lui, you should know you are one of the angels right hehe xD.

You are very welcome ya!!

As all of you might know, there aren't many great astonishing things occurred to me as the Happiness of mine Come & Go at this very year but then that never make me fall as I had many of you that made me stand back, though not the direct way I expected but then I'm still damn grateful to have all of you by my side.

Meeting most of you was like a dream come true to me. I always realise that, I'm rather close with the girls rather than the guys but that doesn't mean I have no good buddies, I do have but they aren't as close as the girls do hahahaha~ Others will call me a pervert but I'll rather say that "I felt girls need me more than guys does" myahahaha xD.

If there's no satisfaction from my answer, Okay~ I don't mind to be admitted as Pervert or Playboy, as bad as you can think of me. But then if I'm a Playboy, I must say "The God is playing me~"

Happy New Year Everyone Especially:-
1) Joe Jian (a.k.a JJ, a.k.a Sifu, a.k.a Lui Lui, a.k.a Rabbeep)
2) Chubby Jess
3) Xuetly Loo
4) Anne
5) & Any other person who's possibly viewing my blog~!!

Few more days to everything.. eh?

Just had a trip and back on Shah Alam and I think I'll have some pics to upload but then the lazy spirit are possessing me~ I still feel like having fun though my exam is like getting nearer.. nearer and nearer~! Argh!!

While I'm getting tensed up, the others are getting bored as their college/U is going to start soon.. what does that means?! means when I have those sem breaks~~ everyone will eventually be.. UNAVAILABLE again T-T. Sad reality...

By the way, I felt kinda uneasy bout next year.. not really the uneasy feeling... it's because.. as the countdown goes, my clock itself is ticking too~~ xD Nervous maybe?
It's better that those surprises isn't those old school style cause it's always me who suggest those ideas (I'm old school after all). If they would just walk by knowing nothing, I also don't mind de~ Get used to it can already.

And then yet again, Happy Anniversary to all my dearest kem terkok members~!!
Thanks for being there for me during the full 3months of so-called hell. When I think back of it, some of you might be the angels in my life too. Thanks for being so meaningful to my life as my friends!!


*P/S - To those you-know-who, Yeap!! You are my angels!! Yes Angels!! not just one person I'm saying thanks to~~!!

Answer it in your Heart..

You can't be what everyone expected you to be, People will judge you and that's why you have the right to judge too.

Why does people comes in various appearance? Because there are various kinds of personalities and each people resembles their own stand. There will be some that Love and there will be some that Hate.

Some people will always think that you're right, Some people will always think you're wrong, and some people will always support your decision and they know you know what's right and what's wrong. You just need a little bit of confidence to make things right.

When you think you're the worst person ever existed, you're just closing one of your eyes on the others who had been cruel to you.

You can hate the others, but you must never hate yourself for you are meant to be this way and when you start to re-loving yourself, that's when you realise,
"Love comes from heart, not from speech nor brain"

P/S - Always believe in yourself for you're the Wrong and Right at the very same time.

*Dedicated to Sifu, JJ

Heart of Tears

Though the term of "Seeing everyone happy, I'll be Happy" came out from my mouth all the time but when I really feel the part of my heart, I couldn't smile in there. I tend to be a'ight when everyone are mentioning about "the case", I bite my tongue holding back my emotions, I felt suffocating, I felt like crying but I couldn't cry out because I've a tough principle that hold my soul. I just keep biting... I hold out the sadness with my gluttony.

[You have to trust yourself to gain others' trust]

I have this very stand to make me strong, I tried my best to trust myself to ensure my friends would approach me with their sad feelings and by helping them, it'll be a very good way for me to abandon my own feelings. |Caring others makes me felt like I'm caring myself| would be better than |Caring myself more than the others|. By realising everyone had their life adjusted well, I saw my own image again and it's still broken... as if remain untouched.

I couldn't let them know how broken my heart was because if they would know, they would be sad that I felt so helpless in me. I'm sorry, I must be selfish... I must become the biggest liar ever existed throughout my life in order to be normal.

If anyone is wondering why am I typing it here while I want to keep it in my heart. Was it on purpose? To gain attention? To get sympathy? Again and again, I'll just say it, I have nowhere else to pour it out except here, my "private space".

When I witnessed "everything", I could feel my heart tearing apart as if deceased but I would just die far far away from everyone else in order not to ruin their happiness. I'm not trying to be 外大 or to be special among others。This is just me, my personality...

That is why....
*Let Me Help You in order for me to help myself*

Making me Sick of them

I finally remembered why I have so much hatred towards my Secondary School Life... It's because of those peoples like them, those who always take advantage toward the others. Just because they are good on something, they misused their rights toward the weak ones. Their act are making me sick and until this very day, they are still that succumb! I really hate it, HATE IT a LOT!!!
And they dare to come and tell me that I'm Immature?! Have you even ever look in the mirror???

There's no need for me to be patient with you guys anymore, if you want blow it off, I don't mind for it and BRiNG it ON!!

*Frustrated*

Save you like how you Saved me

Horrrr~ after reading JJ's blog for some time~ I was like thinking, "Hey, my sem 2 almost ended, what stories I have for myself?".

I was thinking, thinking and thinking... However, there was none of the good ideas I had in mind about what so good and what so bad about my 2nd sem, things were still the same, Normal.
Though I get to learn more bout a human's personality and I'll stick to those who have been trusted by me. They are reliable and we can help each other, Like a team and I don't expect myself to plunge into the groups of "IDK-then-do-nothing" buffoons anymore.

The Happy part of mine for this moment that is, most of my precious ladies have found their own good lives and I'm so glad seeing them being this happy as they are sipping every single joy in life. It's great for them to find their loved ones and my heart is just waving those silent goodbyes and may their loves be cherished.
So is my buddy, hope you're having your great moments with your First love and may it be the love you'll hold till old.

It's time for me to head back to my own road and walk out. I've a story to write myself about after all.

Deelun is simply LUNatic

The reason why?
Told you I'll be always observing lives without putting me as an exception because I knew it very clearly "I'm not going to walk out of this life, Untested".

So, here it goes, the current report for me:
I felt that, I'm LUNatic because there are peoples who Love(Like) and Hate(Dislike) me at the same time, and I guess it's a reason due to my personality that's "Sometimes Good" & "Sometimes Bad". But any other way, I've never admitted on being both sides anyway because I just want to be Righteous and Injustice.

P/S:- I know it sounded so pathetic as if a child is mumbling to himself a.k.a "Want to make oneself being special" but I can assure you, I'm not the SINGLE person in this community that play this role.

It was merry, but not merry enough

Just had a HIT outing with my PLKN friends yesterday but we weren't able to assemble most of them because as expected that most of our peoples are busy with their own life. Bahh~ I'm not blaming those who couldn't make it because the one who organise it only do it according to the number of availability, and it's like on that time only got certain peoples are free. Worry not my buddies, whenever there's a will, there's a way~ We'll definitely meet again and that I assure you!

To those who made it: Eric, Weng, Vikie, Pink, Vinni(+guardian)~
We had a great day though time was sufficient but meeting you all is what that matters~^^
"Nice meal at Tony Romas"
"Great walk at MidValley"
"A Nice Taste of Starbucks~"

In the meantime, Live well everyone, May the moment we met again, Everyone is in pink health!

Frustrated with me?

Sometimes, when you really hope for something to happen to you and things doesn't go the way you plotted, it's rather disappointing but at the very moment when you tend to put everything away, the wish you made eventually came true. On that very moment, the decision to decide whether to appreciate your wish or take it for granted will be on task. Things weren't suppose to be this complicated, not until you started to think you're giving up.

Similarly, it's always the person I hope to gain attention from doesn't turn to me and it was other unwanted attention that I get. And when people start marking me as a bad guy or saying me changing my personality, they never knew my attitude changed is because of their attitude that ruined my mood. Everything have a limit, so am I. Some may think it's because of the "cover" that I'm being sarcastic but for some that know me very much, they'll know I'm the type that concern bout heart fillings.

You think I'll give a damn about the way you pest my personality?! If you dare to say me wrong, you better prove that you're right.

P/S - Who told you I'm a good person to start with? I never admit nor deny and I just let the majority to show me the truth of myself.