Though the term of "Seeing everyone happy, I'll be Happy" came out from my mouth all the time but when I really feel the part of my heart, I couldn't smile in there. I tend to be a'ight when everyone are mentioning about "the case", I bite my tongue holding back my emotions, I felt suffocating, I felt like crying but I couldn't cry out because I've a tough principle that hold my soul. I just keep biting... I hold out the sadness with my gluttony.
[You have to trust yourself to gain others' trust]
I have this very stand to make me strong, I tried my best to trust myself to ensure my friends would approach me with their sad feelings and by helping them, it'll be a very good way for me to abandon my own feelings. |Caring others makes me felt like I'm caring myself| would be better than |Caring myself more than the others|. By realising everyone had their life adjusted well, I saw my own image again and it's still broken... as if remain untouched.
I couldn't let them know how broken my heart was because if they would know, they would be sad that I felt so helpless in me. I'm sorry, I must be selfish... I must become the biggest liar ever existed throughout my life in order to be normal.
If anyone is wondering why am I typing it here while I want to keep it in my heart. Was it on purpose? To gain attention? To get sympathy? Again and again, I'll just say it, I have nowhere else to pour it out except here, my "private space".
When I witnessed "everything", I could feel my heart tearing apart as if deceased but I would just die far far away from everyone else in order not to ruin their happiness. I'm not trying to be 外大 or to be special among others。This is just me, my personality...
That is why....[You have to trust yourself to gain others' trust]
I have this very stand to make me strong, I tried my best to trust myself to ensure my friends would approach me with their sad feelings and by helping them, it'll be a very good way for me to abandon my own feelings. |Caring others makes me felt like I'm caring myself| would be better than |Caring myself more than the others|. By realising everyone had their life adjusted well, I saw my own image again and it's still broken... as if remain untouched.
I couldn't let them know how broken my heart was because if they would know, they would be sad that I felt so helpless in me. I'm sorry, I must be selfish... I must become the biggest liar ever existed throughout my life in order to be normal.
If anyone is wondering why am I typing it here while I want to keep it in my heart. Was it on purpose? To gain attention? To get sympathy? Again and again, I'll just say it, I have nowhere else to pour it out except here, my "private space".
When I witnessed "everything", I could feel my heart tearing apart as if deceased but I would just die far far away from everyone else in order not to ruin their happiness. I'm not trying to be 外大 or to be special among others。This is just me, my personality...
*Let Me Help You in order for me to help myself*
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