Nowadays, I felt that my mind have felt so much relieve that I started to think my problems in an more optimistic ways to prevent me to seal myself into the gloomy-prison of my soul.
I've already prepared myself for the worst-case-scenario that might happen to me... No point of avoiding because it will keep haunting me until I barricades my heart from any interaction..
Somehow, I prefer to face it than avoiding, I know what I should do and how I should do it.
Hopefully, I can still make the smile. I've once told one of my friend that, ever since that incident happened, part of the real me has awaken... I just need more pain, more to make it numb, to make me felt painless through an uncertain darkness with no lights shine upon me.
At the same time, maybe she was right too, I was too good... (or maybe weak) to infuse myself with iniquitous. Maybe I'm just merely a 笨小孩 like the song I posted before..Suffered too much emotional pain till I want to run myself in calamity end.. But... Can I ever do it...?
Anyway, recently, my heart been keep having heartache, not the emotional type.. it's the organ..
It hurts from time to time and I can felt that it's pumping real fast...Seems quite the same like my elder brother...Sigh~
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